Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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