it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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