I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
