so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
