so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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