Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
worst night to have a conscience
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize