Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
