Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
