I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
