Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
