I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
