ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
