I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
