batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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