at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
