i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
