So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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