Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
