yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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