maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
