did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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