Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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