Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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