there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Two words: blizzard sex
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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