With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
