I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
