think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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