pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She needs sedatives and a leash
i've created a new STD.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
