ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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