CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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