I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
