Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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