never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
