just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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