i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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