id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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