If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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