Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
