First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
