If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
