Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
