So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
