This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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