Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
