Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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