My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
40s are totally the cure
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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