4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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