I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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