Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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