When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
