"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
