Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
